The Home
You finally finish serving your time in prison. You get $50 for a bus ticket and some clothes. You have no family to parole to. You are used to the prison life and with so few resources, where are you supposed to go?
You are an addict wanting a fresh start, but no matter where you go, your old habits seem to trap you. What are you supposed to do?
That is where Christian Family Home comes in.
We receive letters weekly from men who desire to apply to come to our center, but because it is a home, there is only room for up to 10 men at a time.
There are organizations that accept men, but it doesn’t prepare them for practical living. I always desired that more than an institution, our ministry would be a home. A place where men can get re-integrated into society. Have personal discipleship and training so that they can be free from addictions and prison mindsets. A place where they can become not just followers, but disciples of Jesus.
My Role
As director of Christian Family Home, I get to know a group of men in a closer, more personal way than when I go into the prisons. As I’ve gotten to work with the men for a long time, it amazes me how much your earthly father shapes what kind of a person you will be. So far, without exception, every man that has come to CFH has had a dad who was one of the "A" type dads - alcohol/addiction/ abusive/ or absent. While none of this excuses the wrong that these men have done, it's certainly given me a greater appreciation for how blessed I am that my dad was there for me.
Knowing this, I have been challenged to show these guys what a real father is supposed to look like. I do this by making myself available to them, being patient, teaching classes helping them find jobs, assisting with projects around the house, driving them to church and various activities, and getting to know the guys. Many times when I talk to them one-on-one they thank me for being like a dad to them. Sometimes I get burned out, but remembering what an honor it is to serve God in this way keeps me going.
Recovery
There are two major types of recovery that CFH deals with. Addictions and prison mentality.
· Addiction- An addiction is not measured in the amount of drugs or alcohol used, it’s measured by the way it affects one’s relationships. As devastating as the effects of addictions can be on a person physically, emotionally, or financially, it is almost always the deterioration of relationships that causes one to look for help. Many of the men have families that are at the point of wanting to disown them. Their marriages are on the brink of divorce. Their children are hurt and confused.
· Prison Mentality- Prison mentality is just as destructive as an addiction. The men do something wrong, go to prison, get out, can’t find resources, and try do provide the only way they know how: the wrong way. It is a ruthless cycle, and without something to break it, it will continue. It is like story of elephant.
Helping men recover isn’t easy, but thankfully, we have a God of restoration. It is still hard work. I have stayed up late. I have woken up early. I have had a lot of frustration. There are men that have had to leave the home. But stories like Carlos keep me going.
Carlos was drinking heavily and basically self-destructing. At that point he would have been considered a failure. Fortunately that wasn't the end of the story. After 4 years, Carlos returned and eventually graduated from the program. He went back to his hometown to be with his family. When I talked to him last week he told about the peace in his life because of his relationship with God. He also told me about how his family relationships have been completely restored.
What an honor it is to serve God in this way. God has been such a God that restores in my life, and I am privileged to be a part of that restoration the lives of these men!